The trouble is I've been made to endure countless facebook status updates, especially of a Sunday evening, regarding who should go, who was best, etc. I really do genuinely feel for the general public.
Anyway, all of this got me thinking about alternative versions of the program, that I, and many others, may find palattable. Below is a list, of what I think, are great ideas for alternative versions of X-Factor. If you're a TV producer, I'm waiting to hear from you ;)
I think this one has serious potential. Its a multi format concept, requiring physical ability and mental agility, so not unlike 'a Krypton Factor come talent show'
For the judges, I think we'd have to go with Cheech Marin, Salma Hayek and George Lopez.
Contestants have to cross the border from the U.S to Mexico (which if you live in a whole in the ground, isn't the safest of places) on foot, attempting to make it to the studio, alive. Whilst auditioning, the men are made to grow a mustache, should they not, already be sporting one.
Those that make it to the studio, are then, and without time to change, made to cook any mexican dish of their choosing, within half an hour.
For the final round, and the round guaranteed to get the audience on their feet, the finalists must choose either the guitar or horn, and play 'La Cucaracha' if you click the previous hyperlink, there's a karaoke version for you to enjoy.
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The winner would be offered the choice of appearing in a Mexican TV show, dressed as a giant bumble bee for 6 episodes, signed up as the face of the 'El Paso' brand for 12 months, or last but certainly not least, feature as a member of a travelling Mariachi band, touring Mexican restaurants for 12 months. The final option obviously gives the lucky winner the opportunity of a book deal and film rights.
By now you're probably second guessing me...
It's another multi-format show, as it needs to provide a platform for female and male contestants. That's rigtht! we're looking for a new Mr and Mrs Beckham.
The Judges would be Messrs Beckham and Rebecca Lews which should, in itself, provide plenty of entertainment.
Round 1 - In the first round, the blokes show off their football skills by kicking a ball 40 yards across a football pitch, aiming for the middle of a Tractor Tyre. Think that's easy? well it's not - especially when somebody is blocking your view with a full size mirror and you're simultaneously having to style your hair.
Whilst the men are doing this, the female contestants are back in the studio. The curtain is drawn to unveil a 20 foot pig pen. The girls have 10 minutes to catch, and toss off a pig. Whilst doing this, they have to grab a fake, Rebecca Loos-esk moustache from the pigs trotter, and place it perfectly on their own face.
Round Two
The Men have to visit a local football teams' changing rooms. Once there, they have 60 seconds to dodge the football boots that Beckham launches furiously at them. Incidentally, Beckham also puts on a bad, fake, Scottish accent and rants incoherently about whisky and horse racing.
The women have to dress as girl band members, singing as badly as possible, whilst mainly pouting. after this, they're all asked to name three countries other than the UK, America or Russia. Again, the worst performer is the winner.
THE FINAL...
For the final, the three female contestants have to create their own clothing line and dress their male counterparts not only badly, but in the most feminine way possible.
When it comes to prizes, I'm struggling to come up with something suitable -your suggestions would be most welcome.
Admittedly, it would need to be aired post watershed. Set in a large sex theatre in Amsterdam, contestants would be judged by the industry heavyweights and legends that are known as, Ron Jeremy, Hugh Hefner and Sylvia Saint.
Fucking on stage, The contestants would be judged and scored accordingly, based on their sexual prowess. The winner would receive a 12 month porn film contract.
If you have any further suggestions, let me know!!!
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