Argentinian's may block Frey Bentos exports

What we've just heard could rock the foundations of every council estate across the UK (and a large proportion of the North East.)

As the £1 billion Type 45 destroyer "Dauntless" is making it's way to Falkland Islands (routine, of course) we've been informed that Cristina Fernandez Kirchner, the Argentine president, is currently in talks with the Uruguayan Government with a view to blocking the export of Frey Bentos pies to the UK. Neither embassy would confirm the reports.

We'll keep you up-to-date as soon as we hear more.

Famous Grouse - Named Grouse Ad Campaign?

You may find this trivial, but the Daily Rant bring you the truth - as it happpens - warts and all.  The Daily Rant, today, received an anonymous tip off (Wikileaks-esque) that the Famous Grouse whisky producer, Erdington Group, have embarked on a national TV Advertisement campaign, naming the grouse that appear in the commercials. 

Whisky drinkers across the land were shocked to the core, having heard the news. Dave from Gipton Nr. Leeds said "It came as a rate fuckin shock. The first thing I erd was that theed called one Nielson - That's no fuckin' name for a Grouse - for fucks sake".

We'll bring you more news as we hear it.

ED MILLIBAND : THE LOVE CHILD OF BEAKER AND RIO FERDINAND?? BEAKERBAND

Today, the Daily Rant has received shocking news. News so shocking that before you read on, you may need to take a seat....

It has been alleged that the lame duck Labour incumbent, Ed Milliband, is the love child of Rio Ferdinand and the character, 'Beaker' from the popular 'Muppets' TV series.

Our source advised us that Milliband, when pressed on the topic, repeated his "Let me tell you this" mantra whilst running, uncontrollably in circles and that at one point his language became undecipherable. "I couldn't make out a word, the question obviously caught him off guard. There was no substance to anything coming out of his mouth - the way he moved and the high pitch noises emanating from him made me feel uncomfortable. His last words were "mememememebabababap" - that was just before he vanished at speed.

Should you come in to contact with him, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, APPROACH HIM. He will become stressed, shouting "let me tell you this" and "New Labour got it wrong" over and over - we understand that this behaviour is an attempt by 'BEAKERBAND' to divert your thoughts from the fact that there is absolutely no substance to anything that comes out of his mouth.

Rio Ferdinand and Beaker were unavailable for comment.